Salam all,
It's been 6 months since they left and I'm still here, contemplating to leave or to stay. Something missing but I have no idea what it was - was it the laughter? the challenge? the teamwork? I've made a promise to myself that if I did not leave by end of this year, I will stay for another year.
I still remember them every now and then. I do miss them, a lot. I wish I could turned back time and cherish every moment with them and seize the opportunity that I was given. Half a year ago, I saw their disappointed, frustrated and sad faces. It was the retrenchment time. Even though I was safe, believe me that one who stayed felt harder to move on compared to the one who had to leave. That's why one by one, the safe ones decided to leave.
Only left me and my other team leader, Suherlan. We both questions ourselves, what are we doing here? We were transferred to a team without team spirit. Although the job was 80% easier than previous it wasn't challenging enough to motivate us to do work. I feel bored to death at work. Do you know that I can finish watching a movie or many episodes online while working? Not only that, I can finish reading a book within 3 days while working too. I am very free at work. Sometimes, I do felt that I'm not working and this bored 'holiday' will never end. And I do feel physically and mentally inactive most of the time.
Every 3 months, we will be graded by how well we preformed and will get up to $800 of performance bonus. And guess what? Since 6 months working in this department, I've been a consistent top scorer. Nope, I'm not trying to be proud. Instead, I asked myself, how can that be? I really thought I swear I will be the bottom few.
Because of my consistency for the past 2.5 years, people thought I was really good in everything - from troubleshooting, handling difficult customers and signals taking. When I started this work, I was nervous and not confident. I hated myself for making mistakes. But the more mistakes I've made, the more better I was. I stuttered when taking calls but soon after, it starts to stop. I was scared when a customer is unhappy or shouted over the phone, but now it did not affect me at all, really. I was afraid that I am slow in taking signals and calls, but soon after, I hate to see signals on the screen that I will take it once it appears and hated to hear phone ring more than 3 times that I learn to pick it up it one ring. People may think that I really love taking call, signals, handling complaints but nope, it is because of what I hate.
Some wonder how I know more than what is being thought in the troubleshooting manual. I do research on the net and I always asked technicians. Reason I do that is because I hate listening to customer nag when they refused to pay the fee to send technicians. So to put the end to the nag, I will try my very best to solve the problem on the spot. To me, if you really want to love your job is to love what you hate.
Now, the problem is not the job itself. It's the social environment at work that makes me felt like quitting. Imagine, in a room less than 7 people - all keep quiet staring that their screen, waiting for signals / calls. Exactly like a graveyard. Tell me, how can I be motivated to go to work? I felt that there's no need for a team leader at all. There's 2 in fact. I really wonder how they can become team leaders? Team leaders are suppose to motivate us and help us. What they do? They assigned complaint cases to us. When we asked how to troubleshoot, they just give us the manual book to read which we already have!!! And they will be the first one to leave the office without even saying goodbye and no good morning when they enter.
I don't mind if they are the manager or supervisor. But they are team leaders. They must have social interaction with us and are approachable. Sometime I do really feel like I'm working alone and not in a team. Few days ago, my supervisor just know that I want to leave the company, but have no idea why. He really2 would like me to stay. And I'm like - what for? It's not about the pay at all. It's not about the job at all. It's about the people I'm working with. How when he change that? Can he bring back all the retrench staff like it use to be, the team that I use to work with, the department what I use to be in? Mostly, can I have the career that I love back?
Meeting in 2 days time. Let's see what happens.
Signing off,
Rohani
