4 white walls

Salam all,

Been very busy with work and work. I totally dislike my office job. I hate to feeling of "have to" to work instead of "want to" and work because of money. If I did not sign the contract in the first place, I should not be in this position right now. Everyone in the office asked me if bos were to given me an opportunity to make this a permanent job, will I consider it. As quick as a lighting, I said no. I don't feel like being myself in the room of white walls. Totally like RP whereby you sit infront of the computer doing the exact same thing everyday.

And there is a so-called problem with my attitude at work which somebody dislike. I did not realized that it affects her and it's not that I have intention to be rude to her. Please la, so sensitive. She think she just came 4 months earlier than me, nak step senior. She complaint to the management that I did not respect her and the way I talk to her, is quiet rude. Everyone in the office told me that my voice is too loud. Well, it's natural. Those who are in the same class as me in RP, will know that I exist by just hearing my voice w/o searching for my face. And I'm not shouting okay. And all of them talked too soft, I barely hear a word. In the office, you can hear a pen dropped, loud and clear.

I am inexperience staff in the office. I totally do not know how to use the photocopy machine, fax and etc. And the look on her face just pisses me off, suka la pijak2 kepala orang bawahan. I just got the feeling that some of them are just "trying" to be nice. Since last Wednesday, I went
lunch alone rather than sitting on the same table with them, hearing them talking in their own language, and guess what, they still talk about work outside work. -_-

Lastly, I feel unhealthy. Haha.. I rarely walk around, talk to people and work my mind. I feel like a robot doing the same task every single day w/o thinking of new ideas and etc. I am okay handling customer's complaint coz I finally get to talk! After work, I am so looking forward to my tuition job and sometimes if AIA called me, I am so looking forward in participating in their events.

I guess right now, I will just have to keep my mouth shut and be patient. Starring at the 4 white blank walls again..

Salam,
Rohani