19/02/09 marked our 28 monthsary. I have no idea how long we will last together, but I am definitely sure we are going to make this last forever.
During Irwan's SMRT chalet on the previous 2 weeks, I remember having a friendly converstaion with his supervisor. At first, we are talking about credit cards, then about sales job and finally about married as well as financial life. I told him that before I get married, I will tell myself to be financially and mentally prepared when divorced happens. He questioned me, "Why must you prepare yourself for the worst? In that case, don't get married if you are already thinking about divorce." Well, I answered that I do not want to an up to be a divorcee left with insufficient money to fed herself and the kids as well as losing a hope for a bright future ahead. Since he is an experience married man for more than 20 years with teenage kids, he gave me his advice. Just don't think of divorce. Think of how to prevent a broken marriage.
And yeah, it's true. We sometimes always think of the "what if's" negatives. Instead of "how to" prevent them from happening. For more than 2 years, wanting to be with someone else besides Irwan had never across my mind. Thinking of breaking up only happens during our early stages of r/s, the part where true colors emerge and getting used of one another's different ways of handling things. And then I realized that no matter how much I felt like smacking his face during our arguements, I never thought of breaking up because I know that after this, everything will be okay. And it is. Thus, it is how you handle the negatives positively.
Before I was with Irwan, I had so many things to talk with guy friends, especially with someone I just met. And I enjoyed going out with them or just a drink. However, things change. When I'm introduce to a new guy especially malay, I will just smile and that's it. I don't even say a word. I just don't know what to talk. I remember when I met Muz at Cheers, we were together in the counter. When there's no customer, we just didn't talk nor I look at him. And in my mind, what kind of topic should I start the conversation. There was a long 15minutes silent.
I was introduce another guy in my sales job. I did not even say hi or gave a smile for one whole day though we worked as a team. It's not that I'm shy or unfriendly. I just don't know what to talk. And if he do ask question, I just reply and did not question him back. There was never a conversation. It's like an interview session. He asked, I reply. That's it.
Now with Irwan, he is my annoying lovable best friend. I can talk anything to him but he talk even more than me. Sometimes, he repeat the same thing again and again. Just last 4 days, he told me about an incident that he accidently drive out of the road and hit the pathway. I counted that he mentioned the same story more than 3 times in one day. And on the phone, he can talk more than 10 minutes without pausing. If he becomes silent, I know that volcanic eruption will occur in just a few minutes. Which means he's not happy with something.
I remembered I had an ex-bf who keep asking me the same question everyday and never told me what happen to his day. It's always one sided conversation and keeps the relationship bored and there's no arguement at all throughout the 4 months of r/s. After the break-up, I wish that my next r/s is going to be someone who talks a lot. And my wish came true when Irwan enters my life.
I can recalled the time my first phone conversation with him when we were just friends. He talked and talked and he hang up. My first impression, "Wah..shiok sendiri. Bebual pasal dia je." The first outing also the same. He talk about himself all day. Hahaa..
I know that so far, I still enjoy being with him despite all the thunder and storms. He's my lover, best friend and companion.
HAPPY 28th MONTHSARY, IRWAN!
Love you,
Rohani
No comments:
Post a Comment